Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Little Secrets

Every now and again I get bored with my blog. It's superficial and I don't have much to say because I choose to limit pictures and information. I am well aware that once it's on the internet you can't take it back and so I don't want to fill my blog with images of me or words that could be misconstrued. I don't tend to say offensive things or anything that would get me into trouble but I think it's probably better to be cautious rather than go all in and reveal everything to the world (or the five people that read this). I want to keep blogging because a) It's a hobby and I enjoy it most of the time, b) I like to look back and see how I was feeling on a particular date/time and c) I read tons of blogs and I think I'd be painfully jealous if I didn't have a way to express my own thoughts and feelings!

However, every few months I become completely disenchanted with my blog and how vacuous it might make me sound. I know that friends and people I work with read this and I'm sure it doesn't give the impression that I'm a highly intelligent individual who sits at home contemplating the meaning of life. The truth is, I like writing in such a simplistic, informal style. I am perfectly capable of writing (and marking) academic essays but that doesn't mean I need to write a blog which showcases my writing ability. The best part of writing this is that I realise that, even when I question myself, I know that I don't actually care what people think of me. Even if I come across as a puerile, trivial and totally depthless invididual, I don't care. I know what and who I am.

I work extremely hard and I deserve the good things that happen to me.
I'm a loyal friend and hopeless romantic.
I like to dream impossible dreams.
I'm incredibly proud of what I have achieved without the privileges that many others have had.
I love to learn new things and have to learn something new every day, even if it's total rubbish.
Music is really important to me.
I love my job and can't imagine doing anything else.
Most of the time I need a plan but I actually love being spontaneous.
I don't give up on anything.

And that's all I need. I would love to write a fashion blog full of pictures and information about my latest purchases but it's just not possible. I don't have the money to go out and buy new things all of the time. I also don't think I'd be brave enough to put photos out there for people to judge. I'd rather be judged on my personality than my looks.

I've managed to reason with myself while writing this; it really is true that writing helps you figure things out more clearly. I do want to keep blogging. I do want to share things (but not everything) and I definitely want to stick to what I know. I don't have a glamorous life or lots of money but that's ok. I'll continue to share snippets about me, things I like and what I've been doing recently.

On that note, I'm off to listen to some music, paint my nails a nice lilac colour and get comfy with a book. That's enough for me.

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